Faith Salutes

neiman marcus: needless mark up

i walked into neiman marcus yesterday. my hair wasn't combed, i was wearing ripped jeans, $2 Target sandals, and chipped toe nail polish (which I hate...and will fix today.) but i felt like a million bucks. paperpony accompanied. there were so many tempting items to drool over. from missoni to dior, i wanted it all. i had something altered. someone called him oscar, passing on the de la renta. that is when you know you are in the big leagues.

neiman marcus aside, i love to have things altered for me. there is something so magical about it. i am not sure why...because it is just for you. i wish all of my clothes were altered. i have read here and there that it is best to purchase less, more high quality items and have them altered to perfection. but for those of us who care about fashion and for those of us in the "middle class" is less really more?

Faithsalutes $5.80 I spent on a necklace yesterday and the dump I made at the Salvation Army.

Skinny

Read more here.

I am not too hefty, but the last time I was in Italy I did not fit into one darn thing. Ha. But I can't starve myself because food is so good. I am hungry right now...for pasta and grappa and leather. I could eat leather.

Paperpony did more than me at the gym and she is 5 months pregnant. Classic.

New and Improved.

After reading the post below, I realized (like preparing for BFF to come and visit) I was rushed and made several mistakes. I attempted to rectify below:

So, like, you know when you have company from out of town or someone you have not seen in awhile and you turn into a complete freak out artist in attempt to prepare for their arrival. Trying to be someone you are not just to impress them while they are around for a few days or even mere hours. Installing new chandeliers, planting new flowers, scrubbing ceilings, hiding the servants in their quarters and beating them one more time for good measure, making sure the children are seen and not heard, setting out the best linens, hunting for a slew of pheasants, scrubbing behind your ears, changing into your best dress, and  more or less doing things you would never normally do...or I would normally do...like grocery shop.

I waited until the last minute and did not complete any of the projects I thought I would. Baseboards needed to be wiped down post Monsoon and dust season. Think Dust Bowl era. Areas needed to be re-decorated, pictures are not hung, one entire room is just filled with junk (literally). I think if I started to beat my servants more they would work better under a slim timeline. SH**. Oh, wait, I have no servants. Only myself to blame. Paperpony is coming tomorrow. "Get crack-a-lackin'...and stop looking like a stupid sorry slob."

So, instead of cleaning behind my ears and decorating, etc. I resorted to, well...she is my BFF. This is a test. If she excepts me for who I am....she won't mind the dust or the stank coming from the backyard.

You can see her blog and check out what sneaky thing she did this morning while I was sleeping.

Peace out.

Faithsalutes hearty dirt...behing my ears and mashed up against door frames. Oh, and I did not comb my hair yesterday for good measure.

Glorious, almost.

I just had the most amazing post and some annoying punk from my student loan consolidation called and ruined it.

I will post later....

Faithsalutes preparing.

Ahhh, this is beautiful

All because of the menstrual cycle. (I used the word cycle for you JH.)

Go Sweden! Go Ikea!

Watch this.

Because nothing got done...

Because nothing got done this weekend...attempted to buy curtains, AGAIN...instead came home with a desperately needed bathroom sink. It is not yet installed. I am too worried about pregnant PaperPony coming and not having a sink. No risk of installation needed at this juncture.

We played games at my mom's house this weekend. Game night was fantastic. Drank gimlets and played games. That is what I call a good time.

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We hiked on South Mountain this morning for about 30 minutes. Spanky LOVED it. She has been sleeping every since. I love wearing your dog out, I actually feel like I accomplished something today. Wearing a dog out has moved up my "I feel satisfied" list.

Phoenix weather is perfect. 80 degrees, bit of a breeze. Warm in the day, cool at night...we will have perfect weather for a couple of months. Then two months of cold then three months of perfection and then HELL for 3-4...essentially when you do the math that is 6 months of perfect weather, 2 months of cold, 3 months of HELL, and one month with a bit of everything.

So hell, is hell...but I don't go from humid hell to winter blasted snow like most of the country. I am very happy with this arrangement.

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We are hiking the Grand Canyon in a few weeks. I cannot even walk up one flight of stairs without feeling winded...so I started a bit of training. Gym Sunday, hiked a little today, and will continue a pattern of preparedness. Pray I make it.

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I have nothing else to say today. I am boring. I am enjoying reading www.thepioneerwoman.com and the story of how she met her husband. It has inspired me to write, but not today. I am just boring today.

Faithsalutes Spanky barking at Mowgli. She never barks...but has barked at him twice. We all know she loves me the bestest.

New Dance Craze: Techtonik

Spurred on in Paris, but has spread through Europe. I likes. I dance sort of like this...well, I want to.
Ha.

Youtube search....do it, be inspired to dance.

My new Favorite SITE

Get the facts straight....

This one is for dtupac

Hey, remember when I knocked on your door and I let you know we had 3rd row tickets to the baseball game? You didn't tell me your mom was going to be there...

a) oh and is the one in black your aunt?

b) She didn't even say good-bye. Cute outfit.

c) Did you get her that flower clip for Mother's Day?

Faithsalutes tranny moms.

Who needs a skylight?

Who needs a skylight when you can put your entire leg through the ceiling on accident?

And yes, his leg was that close to the spinning fan.

Faithsalutes home improvement projects.

Time is on your side

Here is a very cool site that alter photos to look cool...so you can spice up your personal pages n such.

Typorganism.

You like?

Faithsalutes free alterations.

Liptastic

I had my lip waxed on Sunday. My skin is all different shades on my face. I am embody all races. I have tan skin, pale skin, skin covered in freckles, etc. My upper lip has been darker than the rest of my face all summer...it looks as if I wear sunscreen everyday on my face, but perpetually forget to slap some onto my upper lip. In every picture I look like I have a bona fide mustache. I have tried several methods to remove this brown strip of nasty...glycolic masks, ex foliating, you name it. On Sunday, I asked my cousin (who is trained) to wax my upper lip to see if that would make a difference.

It made a difference alright...my entire upper lip looks like leprosy. It is awful. It hurts, it is peeling, it is red, it is bumpy, there is puss involved...you name it.

Never again. Mark my words.

Faithsalutes the rainbow face.

My life-STYLE

Last night we had 3rd row seats to a Arizona Diamondbacks vs. San Francisco Giants baseball game. Many interesting things happened during this event, but one that made me feel good about myself was the women in front of me told me I looked like Christine Taylor, the actress who is married to actor Ben Stiller. It made my freaking week. I look nothing like Christine Taylor and I outweigh her skinny throat and rib showing Hollywoodness by a long shot, but it made me feel good. My mouth is not wide, my nose sticks up, and my forehead is not as huge, etc...but hey, I will take what I can get. Thank you ladies in the second row. I feel like a movie star today, driving our old Honda to work and wearing $2 sandals from Target. Yesssssssss............feel good.

You know what does not make me feel good anymore? Real Simple Magazine. Instead of encouraging my sorry excuse of womandom, it makes me feel inadequate and messy and lazy and practically incompetent. Not in the way Vogue/Vanity Fair makes you feel inadequate, because Vogue is so out of touch from 99% of the world population's reality that it makes no impact on me, personally. I simply ooze over each page and then move on with my life. Real Simple is more tangible and obtainable to a certain degree, therefore damn near oppressive. I am not renewing my subscription. I rather shoot for Vogue or Domino than just Real Simple. I prefer Real Cool and Real Complicated and Real Messes, Real Maid to clean up after me etc. Go big.

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If someone where to ask me to describe my personal style I would have to say EuroTrash on a Cruise. I strive for this look, by the way. Ask someone who has been shopping with me.

What is your personal style?

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Back to the baseball game last night, we were joined by another couple...The man of the house is half Navajo. His hair is beautiful. It is long and pulled back into a shiny brown earthy braid. Slick and clean. Mowgli and I have carpet hair, hence some envious moments on the first baseline. I wonder if he gets conditioning hints from Real Simple with their 3 million product comparison in every magazine. Ad central.

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Faithsalutes baseball camaraderie. The silly chubby guy, the woman with the tubetop, the old guy, the young guy, the "do people tell you look like Christine Taylor" girl, the Navajo, the bombshell red head, the little girl, the tranny make up artist, the tanned to a crisp lady, the Giants fans, the Diamondback fans, the uber fat guy with the overalls, the guy with the Iphone showing us pictures, the guy who caught the ball in our row...we had a good time with you all.   

PB and J

Peanut butter (crunchy Laura Scudder's Peanut Butter) and jelly sandwiches have got to be one of the most satisfying bites you can take. Sweet, salty, hearty, juicy, sweet, crunchy...everything a girl could want and more.

I am one of those people that packs their lunch just so they can eat it at around 10:00 AM. It doesn't matter if I ate breakfast, if I have nothing else to eat, etc, etc. I eat the entire thing before lunch. I did that as a kid too and suffered the consequences.

I always admired those kids who brought a sandwich, but put the lettuce in a separate baggie so it didn't get soggy. Actually, I was dumbfounded. I just could not get it together enough to pull that off. I was too worried about other things that didn't matter, like if the teacher called on me to read. All I wanted was to be called on to read. I needed to give the other kids a chance. Well I did, when we played multiplication popcorn. Suckers.

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If you are paying student loans like I am...here is something you might want to read.

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Sunday turned out to be nuts, I did take photos and I hope to unleash them and a great story tonight.

Faithsalutes school lunches.

Oh, btw...I quit my corporate cube. I negotiated for a better position here at the University. Now I have my own 5th floor office again. Ahhhhh, back to the elite. Ha, yeah right.

Joke is on me.

This weekend I went to have something framed. Knowing all too well the high price I would have to pay in order to frame an odd sized print with a "custom framing order." Two weeks ago I waltzed into Michael's expecting to pay with all of my extra cash, $100.00, on a very special print that I bought from an Israeli gallery owner's daughter. She brought prints with her to Los Angeles for a Jewish celebration. I could not resist and purchased a very retro seventies print of a lion and a lamb.

Back to my first encounter at Michael's, knowing the exotic price scale custom framing socially mingles with yachts and Berkin bags, I came prepared with a $50.00 off coupon. I strolled to the back framing counter with confidence. I thought $50.00 off was something to write about, I could start one of those get rich quick blogs or a book on how to decorate on a dime or maybe a blog on how to be a frugal wife. In other words I thought I was the sh** with that coupon.

I selected my frame carefully and after much design debate, the cost with the coupon was $200.00. Do you know how much lumber and supplies I can purchase at Home Depot with $200.00? Do you know how many starving children we could feed? How many mosquito nets we could provide? How about a high quality knock off Mui Mui bag online?

I declined. The woman working the counter took notice of my defeat and secretly pushed over a little folded card. She mentioned I might be able to use this and to come back in a couple of weeks and see her.

Today, I returned with a 60% off coupon that Theresa, the framer, had slipped over the counter to me. It was a "friends and family" special. I felt special, dammit.

I chose a new, less expensive, frame today sans the mat and the total was: $97.00. I went along with the framing program/conspiracy to control.

I feel completely ripped off. I am upset and I want to know why the hell framing is so expensive when we live in an era and in a relatively stable geopolitical state of cheap goods that strips of wood and plastic costs more than a pair of boots that will last you many winters.

Framing sucks....I am using thumb tacks from now on. Or maybe tape.

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We went to the park wedged between the freeway and the projects today to let the Spanky do her thang. It is a pretty nice park, considering the local. Our dog likes to make friends with every bum, freak, and race at the park. She is an equal opportunity peace dog. I love that about her, everything else I cannot stand. Her little beasty qualities like getting into the trash and chewing up over 5 pairs of my shoes.

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Paperpony is coming to visit me in 2 weeks and I cannot wait. I get her all to myself. I am not sharing her with any of you people. No, not even You or YOU.

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Faithsalutes not being framed, but being free.

Photo Shoot

I wanted to do a photo shoot tonight. The skank feel asleep early and I could not get my camera to take the shots I wanted.

So here are the results:

Faithsalutes mastering photoshop someday. and typepad....I cannot get this site to load photos lately.

are you mad at me?

Are you upset because I did not blame the Power Rangers, but rather believe those instances to be accidents....

Power Ranger

Remember when kids were wrestling and killing each other and they blamed it on Power Rangers. I remember I was sad that kids died (kids die all the time), but secretly I laughed. Power Rangers? Wow. I personally blame kids with rage and no discipline.

Sometimes I wonder if I have a heart.

Probably not, considering I daydream about my life without my dog and how fabulous it would be if someone else paid me a large sum for her. Or traded a car or maybe an authentic mi-century painting for my living room. Maybe even a painting of a dog.

Then I remember how she must love me for rescuing her dog ass, so I must love her. (I had to clean up after her today, can you tell?)

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I have finally started reading The Good Earth by Pearl Buck, even though it has been listed in my list of books on the sidebar for over a month. It is something I cannot quite describe, but if there were ever a book to convince you to purchase land...this is it. Wang Lu is the antithesis of communism and therefore I endorse.
I recommend the book, highly.

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The drama of naming of you children....I will have to post about this....and like everyone else in the world I have my two cents. Everyone and I mean everyone has opinion about what you name your children. Oh, how I love judgement.

Top name choice:
Hey You, Kid.

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Another wench face was harassed for what she was wearing on an airline. I guess the airlines are now the moral police. If not them, then who? Southwest Airlines dress code for all! R-E-S-P-E-C-T.

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Faithsalutes the black Power Ranger.

Cha-Change

This morning I took some change to a "Coinstar" machine sitting in my credit union's lobby. I dumped a lot of change into that machine. The machine eats 4.9 cents per dollar it counts. The machine gave me a credit of $369 and some change (ha).

The change was heavy, but the burden light.

I was there a couple of weeks ago and dumped some change and some dollar bills in the machine...it was around $250, we used it for debt and our sailing excursion.

The $369 will be headed to our savings account. Because I want to go to Africa next year and the tickets are outrageous.

Every penny counts.

Only $2,000 more to go! Ouch.

I take change seriously.

Faithsalutes rolling quarters the new school way.

SAVE YOUR CHANGE!

Stay on your toes: historical tippy toes

Some interesting collaboration with the British Empire, the Church of England, Christian Brothers...

Here, here.

Get ready to be angry and have a lot of questions, 10,000 of them.

Faithsalutes reconciliation.

Power to the F

I voted today. I freaking love to vote. Some people like to smoke weed or jump off of buildings with tiny parachutes, but I get my high from casting a ballot. I wear my voting sticker like it is an Oscar or Purple Heart pinned to my shirt. I always got all my participation points. Local elections are the bomb.

Anyway, while I was voting at St. Peter's Orthodox, someone farted loud enough to make me write about it.  If you are close with me you know that I do not use those words, like to hear that word, or anything else related to the ladies room. I am not comfortable talking about, hearing about, or acknowledging that any such thing exists. Just not my style, but this was unbelievable. There were only 7 of us, including myself...and maybe they think it was me...but it came from the middle of the room, so yeah, I think it was the old lady in the middle of the room. I was completely mortified. It actually echoed in the room. I never want to go there again. They are forcing me to vote absentee. Absent from the vulgar polls.

Speaking of stank, my dog is so much work. Anyone want her?

Faithsalutes freshly squeezed.

hello nurse!

*this post has nothing to do with nurses, nursing, health or even the medical profession.

but it does have to do with my mom falling. i don't know if any of you have ever experienced this, but it is worse than having your toe nails ripped out or being stuck in those chinese finger traps you can purchase with tickets after 45,000 games of ski ball.

my mom fell on saturday night...well tripped down a couple of stairs. i almost threw up immediately following the incident. she started to sweat and get shaky immediately following, i almost threw up again. watching your own mother, flesh and blood, almost cascade down a long set of concrete steps is the worst event i can imagine, now that i know what it is like.

my mom made a joke immediately after the fall, but still...it was bad news. she used her arm and shoulder to keep her from taking a trip down to the bottom of the steps and while she was using her arm to catch herself, her ankle became mangled up underneath her. (i feel sick even writing about this...)
her worst fear, like that of many of us, is following down a set of stair. again, she used her arm/shoulder to stop herself from serious damage.

i remember a couple of months ago having to catch myself and landing on my knees. the adrenaline rush was similar to that fall.

there is something about mothers, even if they are fragile in spirit (not that my mom is, actually, but some are), that as an adult you still think is unbreakable. strong, steadfast, not about to FALL down stairs.

i guess the message is either hold your mother's hand while walking down a flight of stairs or walk in front of her and break her fall. you owe her that much. i want my mom around forever.

Faithsalutes the fragility of the unbreakable.

Weekend Update with Faithsalutes version 101011.0

Early update. This weekend was fairly uneventful considering the whirlwind of events over the summer.

we ate, slept, ate some more, slept, watched a movie....you get the picture.

I am currently watching two things: MTV Video Music Awards and a special on a child from Uganda named Petero, they are calling it "A Boy with a New Head." I hate that title, but the show is incredible. His head is shaped like a cone and his eyes protrude almost an inch from his face. He looks like he has cow eyeballs. I have never seen anything like this. Cranofacial surgery is unbelievable. They are recreating his skull and his face in a series of surgeries in Dallas. He has been separated from his parents, who are residing in a small village Uganda, for several months.

All the MTV cronies are talking about is the Britney comeback. Clicking back and forth between Petero and the MTV fashion nastiness...I love America.

Faithsalutes Petero for wanting to eat fish and chocolate when his "halo" is being removed and the chocolate that was thrown up before the MTV awards.

PS I am crying, because that child looks so beautiful now...tears of joy. 7 months...they have been without their child...I can't see the screen to type...have to jet.

Britney will not make me cry. Update: That was the worst performance I have ever seen in my life. She walked around the stage and grabbed a dancer's crotch. It was disgusting and I was embarrassed as a recreational dancer. It was even worse to watch then when I ran for school president in 5th grade and I cried in front of the whole school. They thought it was a "planned" tactic, because I took my glasses off before I spoke, but really I took them off so the boys would vote for me. Ahhh, the art of politics. My performance was better and I won. Tears work with elementary school students, for future reference. Cry your way into their hearts America. Britney should of just had a hearty cry on stage and won us back.

i wished

i wish i was near the ocean. i miss the ocean. this was near the catalina island shore after a long swim. i like my risky business sunglasses, sporting them in the ferry pre- ocean tan. these photos are from a couple of weeks ago when we went sailing. i am not so quick when it comes to uploading photos.

Faithsalutes the third weekend of dealing with stupid curtains, instead of enjoying the ocean.

altercation

spanky and i had a brief altercation with a black teenage girl today at the park. spanky got too close to her. the teenage brat was visibly upset. her weave slapped around a bit, that is how i knew for sure. she asked me to please "grab it!" spanky didn't even care about her, she just wanted to check out her new back to school kicks. "don't worry," i told her, "momma will buy you a new pair of shoes, but your ass is still grounded for multiple offenses."

that girl better watch her back at try-outs because i am hiring spanky her own personal trainer. MTV MADE style. watch yourself...show me whatchya got.

i am so hungry right now i could eat a small 4H animal, preferably cow. speaking of cow and/or cowboys, check out this site:

www.feaginssaddlery.com/

my sister in law's father is the real deal. from scratch.  try to craft one of those why don't you. he thinks that i talk too loud.  i can't be any louder than those cows screaming when he puts throws them to the ground and cut their nuts off. he'll get over it. he has to, we are family now.

paperpony was on design*sponge today. i am not going to lie, i am extremely jealous...but yet so thrilled and proud.
i bet your best friend isn't on there...

i am in a bratty mood, can you tell?

Faithsalutes hamburgers slathered in envy.

Naps

I take naps to get me more smarter. And for health reasons.

park to run

i ran around the freaking park today. it is a small park, but none the less...i ran around it. this is not typical behavior. i usually watch the dog and pray she runs on her own accord. she was too busy in irrigation water to notice half of my trek around the park, but i was so proud when i left. i ate a reese's peanut butter cup when i got to work i was so proud. bladow. now, if i run around it again a few times a week...then i will have something to really talk about. today it was just pure shock that it actually happened.

i have a new roommate. she is here in phoenix to be with her sister while she goes through some difficult health issues. just during the week here and there. i like it. it is nice, but i am sure i will start to miss things like walking around naked while i get ready, etc. i haven't had a roommate in quite sometime it seems. mowgli and i moved in together on the end of the honeymoon trail. she was in the shower this morning and i sort of flipped for a second when i heard the water running. then i wanted to take a shower too, but now i have to share. i like to share everything but my shoes. i do it, i just don't like to. i feel angry the whole time the sharing is happening. and who wants to be angry?

i haven't been sleeping, only dreaming. when i wake up i feel exhausted and i cannot fall asleep in the first place. i dream of people sinking in the sand under the water and me diving in to save them...but not being able to hold my breathe. i dream about people in my past, people i have never met, you name it...i dream it up. i am tired of being tired this week.

i am not voting for Fred Thompson. i don't care about when he entered the race, that boggles my mind that someone would not vote for someone who is just now getting into the race. that is lame sauce. i am not voting for him for other reasons. 

i am reading an article or study entitled, "The Myth of Social Capital in Community Development". i have several more pages to go, but i am curious what most think is "social capital". not those in community development, but people like you Good Citizens, performing other fantastic contributory tasks day in and day out. just those words alone, what does "social capital" mean to you?

Faithsalutes the heat. The AC guys did not finish the job. House destroyed and it was hot. I slept with nothing. Maybe a jacket will be showcased on Saturday night.

the Vietkong and my dog

today i went to have my nails painted black. most of the signs were written in spanish at the nail salon in my hood, but the nail techs were Vietnamese. after i started swatting at the flies, they put on a dvd to watch. it was obviously not for our enjoyment/pleasure/atmostphere, it was for the men who the run shop to watch. the video was of a music show...sort of like a music awards show or benefit show, but without the awards or to anyone's benefit. they wait for the US or Europe to benefit them. the production ranged from their pop singer that looks like a Hispanic pussy cat doll member ( i asked if she was Vietnamese, i did not believe it.) to the more traditionally dressed nasal "i am in a movie scene shot in Hanoi soundtrack" ensemble. they had their version of justin timberlake and the back up dancers who pulled off the 13 year old dance studio end of the year recital routines on stage. i saw lots of abdomen, but not so much in the cleavage department. overall, it was entertaining. i would go back there again, if it weren't for all those flies. on a related note: our friends just got back from Vietnam, they brought us commie hats. it made me happy.

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spanky was so needy today. following me around everywhere and wanting to be next to me. maybe she was trying to tell me something like "Hey, um, can Brodi take me out past curfew on Friday night after the opener against North High?" though she pulled her teenage angst crap again today. i tried to brush her and she acted completely sketched over it. "Um, excuse em-maw, but are you certified to brush my coat. You don't even comb your hair, you think I would let you touch this beautifulness?" So what did I do? I pinned that bitch down and brushed her. Then I sent her to her room for talking back and I yanked her boyfriend privileges faster than she could say "prom dress".

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i am drinking a cherry limeade. unbelievably savory.

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Faithsalutes an unbelievably cool evening. CAUSE WE GOTS US AN AC NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I am sleeping wtih a jacket on tonight and maybe some long johns.

Labor intensive

My friend JD is attending law school at Duke. They don't have Labor Day off, he had classes that day. White Southerners don't need a day off apparently. Sucks for him and the blacks.

My labor day was quite productive:

On Labor Day, I rescued the President from aliens in Los Angeles, shot dinosaurs, raced cars through San Francisco, raced a snow mobile through Washington DC, shot more people, shot more people, and then kept shooting people. I shot people with hand guns, machine guns, rifles, etc.

I went to an Arcade on steroids with my 11 year old brother. In addition to every video game on earth, they had approximately 19 vending machines. The vending machines only served plastic bottles of Pepsi products. My brother wanted Mountain Dew Code Red. I was wondering if this was some kind of sick joke.

We did not, under any circumstances, need anymore stimulation a la Code Red amongst the Arcade riff raff. It was like World War III. Teenagers were holding onto each other's waists and copping feels, older Mexican couples were making out next to the skee ball, toddlers were being left in seats unattended for more than 10 minutes...starring at the Jet simulation module, holding on to the control for dear life. This place was unbelievable. The riff raff aside, how do people afford to become Arcade regulars? This place was not your regular nickel or quarter arcade, good citizens.

None the less, if anyone ever dares to question my loyalty to my little brother, I have the ultimate "get out of that guilt free card": I took him to f****** Game WORKS!

I had a headache almost instantaneously after arriving. I thought about hitting up the bar upstairs (YES THERE IS A BAR UPSTAIRS.) just to take off the edge, but you don't get to escape the noise nor the riff raff, so I saved my hard earned dollar for a curtain rod at Target. I bet that toddler's parents were upstairs getting hammered. 

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My niece turned two this weekend. My cousin turned 23. My niece pointed out to those with moles on their faces that they quite clearly had nipples on their faces. My cousin 's friends tried showing off their nipples with their low cut shirts at her birthday dinner at the Tappanaki restaurant.

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I got spanked in a game of Scrabble. I blame it on my eye. It hurts, it is almost swollen shut. I am wearing my Oliver People's glasses today and no mascara. That is probably a sign that Jesus is coming back soon. No need to be on the look out, you won't miss Him.

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Took Spanky to the park this morning. One bum, two teenage boys ditching class, one regular making his park lap, two druggies that rotated from the bathroom to the playgound, 100 tons of irrigation water for the Spank to get her puppy on.

Thanks for the suggestions....I used some old Spice, promised her a trip to the mall after school, a cell phone bedazzle treatment, the Hills Seasons 1 and 2 on DVD, new lipgloss, and that her boyfriend could come over but the door had to stay open. That got her out there and running around. She even chased birds this time around. They were not pigeons, maybe she doesn't want pigeon germs. Eww, like gross.

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Peace in the Middle East. I am out.

Faithsalutes eyes wide shut.

This is what I am talking about

For the rap lovers: