Faith Salutes

Here we go again on our own...

Mowgli is watching Trainspotting. When is the last time any of us has seen that film? Or even mentioned it casually in conversation?

Random.

The laptop slipped off our slippery luxury blanket we have in the guest room. I was laying in there about to write an epic post. The slow motion of the laptop gliding off the bed killed the epic post.

This blanket should be mandatory, despite the slippery non laptop friendly surface, in every household. It makes you feel like you have a million dollars in the bank. The blanket was 30 dollars. And washing it doesn't take away the goodness.

I am trying to go see Chris Rock tonight.

Bye.

Self Portraits

Weekly Update: Holiday Edition

I saw 5 SUPERSIZED Scarface blankets, one with giant marijuana leaf, 3 with Tupac, and of course a couple with Selena hanging over the side of some vans. I also spotted an open van door with 300 of the ugliest white teddy bears hugging hearts you have ever seen in your life. In one vacant lot a family had what appeared to be all their belongings out for sale. I felt bad, but secretly I did not want any of those items wrapped under the tree for me. Some people might be thrilled to death to get a Scarface blanket bought off the side of the A-TEAM van, just not this fat selfish brat.

I wanted to wear something pretty and festive for the Christmas Eve gathering at my mother's. I attempted to wear what I wore last year to Mowgli's Holiday party at his firm in Los Angeles. Either I am a recovering two bit slut, or I am fat. I could not get into it and it was shorter than boy short cut underwear. I could not believe it. I have gained that much weight. I almost cried the whole three hours before the family fun was to commence. I tried on everything pretty I had. I gain weight in my waist and breasts which makes it impossible to find a top. I just wanted a top!

I shopped for 3 days straight looking for a top to wear. Have you ever seen cable knit turn into the rails at Grand Central Station? It is atrocious, I assure you. Hide the small children, board up the windows, call in the guard.

And for the record, I have been cutting back on crap for awhile now...so I am praying for diabetes. That will force me to regulate.

I also saw a man with one leg, a bum trying to hug a Mexican guy at the bus stop who obviously did not want to be hugged, and a glorious tail on the back of someone's closely cut low rider hair cut. They were all on the same short block leading up to the little house that could. It made my day. 

We watched Atonement at the theater. I have not been to a movie theater in months. I do not go that often, I think it is a waste of money in most cases. A couple of times a year at most. Atonement was delightful in it's presentation and wonderfully haunting, but the story...well, is sad. Be prepared to be sad. I was sad. I am still sad. James Mcevoy is down town yummy get down in this tale, though.   

We saw legendary basketball player and 40+ year old virgin AC Green and local celebrity Alice Cooper. AC Green is huge and Alice Cooper is tiny. And that is all I have to say about that.

My youngest brother is spending the night tonight and bringing with him his Guitar Hero set. This should be interesting. We bought him an AC/DC t-shirt. I hope that doesn't mean we are going to hell. I was listening to Amy Grant when I was 12 and then progressed into the Cranberries, U2, and the Beatles. I hope he doesn't progress into Marilyn Manson and Gwar...

I have been going around town letting everyone know my name is not "Saith", its "Faith" lately. Do people really think my name is Saith? Bills, the pharmacist, professionals, the National Spelling Bee committee. It is starting to really, really make me want to punch someone in the throat. The name thing has really been irking me lately, more than usual. I just want to be called Faith. Is this request so ridiculous? So outrageous? Too demanding maybe?

Its Faith service professionals! Faith!

Mowgli is bothering me to leave...there is more.

Happy Holidays. xoxoxo

Faithsalutes a more productive year to come.

Not according to plan...wait, what plan?

So, all I have accomplished is not eating every single piece of candy in sight (my usual behavior) and I finished painting a dresser for the art room.

Soooooooo, tonight I am shopping with Mowgli and will hopefully clean up art room a bit, now that the dresser paint is dry.

I need to get started on these homemade items for a few people...but most of them will get them after Christmas. Sometimes it is nice to get gifts after Christmas, its a little unexpected surprise...a sweet after thought. I tell myself this to make everything less stressful.

Why, why such a slacker? Work aside, my knee has been giving me problems again. I woke yesterday in an extreme amount of pain, I was almost getting teary eyed. We are trying to decide when the inevitable surgery will really screw with my calendar. I prefer it happen when I am really busy, that is best. I live off of pressure. I am sort of joking, but then again really, I am not.

After limping all day yesterday, my knee felt almost normal in the evening. So, I put on my navy boots I bought in Madrid to go out for a glass of wine with a friend. My mom and I bought the same pair while in Madrid last year. I am not sure my mom and I have ever had the same item of clothing or shoes. Though I have borrowed some of her shoes over the years. I think it is "cool" that we have the same boots. My mom always looks good and put together...not like my matted hair and Euro-trash Cruise look, so obviously the boots look different on us. Different, but good. I think my mom wonders where the hell I came from, especially the not combing my hair part and all the other crazy parts. But I love her whether I comb my hair or not and I know she loves me. I especially love my mom's soft skin and blue eyes. Her skin is so soft I was always want to mash my face in it. And her eyes always looks so sparkly, like Sparkle Eye Barbie. Sparkle Soft Mommy in navy boots.

Back to my knee, bad idea. Wearing boots after limping all day, causes limping the next day. I have a pill phobia, so I just have to deal with it and I am dying. Well, not really dying. But I would like my leg cut off. Well, not really cut off. I just need some surgery and some liquid pain killer, stat.

If my knees worked I would be able to get all my self appointed chores done by Christmas. Stupid patella grooves.

Faithsalutes Advil mashed up in jelly so I can get it down.  (Thanks Dad.)

It will make you sick and feel better all at the same time.

National Sex Offender Registry

Take a peek. My neighborhood is relatively safe actually. Child Molesters are on the other side of town, sucka.

I love the mug shots, I am going to be looking out for these guys at Circle K.

Faithsalutes the power of the internet to protect our children, sometimes.

Che explanation squared

Underneath the *Che image on the shirt Spanky is wearing reads, "This shirt is brought to you by Capitalism."

I am still Faith you know and pretend to love. I was the Chairman of the UCLA Republicans for crying out loud. First lady in recent history...maybe even 20 years. Though, they all [republicans, democrats, libertarians, whig party members, green party, anarchist] make me sick these days, SICK. "Barfola" as my mom would say.

Faithsalutes the hate mail I received from my post as a conservative in college. I should go back and re-read bits of it, so juicy. Especially after we held Conservative "Coming out Day." The LGBT [Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender] leaders thought it was fantastic, for the record.

Oh undergrad...how I miss thee.

*Photo was Mowgli's idea and he wants you to all know it. But the language is mine.

Don't Steal from Me ever again...

Spanky Mechista 4 Life

Whatchyo back, ese. Don't be all in mi coche again or near mi casa, eh. You hear me homes. I will wreck you...

Watch out for my cousin Nico, she be lookin' for you ese.

And no I don't shave and then draw in my eyebrows, da boss lady don't let me...

But, I'm a hot mommie, no?

I thought I had 2 weeks, trigga

As of yesterday, I thought there were two weeks left until Christmas. And my publication is being worked on right now which makes time even less. This is such a nightmare. These supposed two weeks was going to allow me the time to do all those things I need to do before Christmas:

1. Lose 5 pounds. 10 is unrealistic in 2 weeks, but 5 easy. I need to look good for the homies.
2. Paint dresser in art room, hang art in art room, do art in art room for unfinished gifts.
3. Purchase gifts.
4. Run for President and climb ahead in the Iowa Caucus polls.
5. Meet Margaret Thatcher.
6. End the brutality in Darfur and a complicated list of other conflicts.
7. Convince Marc Jacobs that I should be his muse.
8. Teach my dog to do tricks like my friend Amy's dog.
9. Confiscate a sewing machine from my mother in law to finish up on some ideas.
10. Shoot some people in the face with something harmful for destroying my friend's lives. Not to kill, just injure.

So what do I do now? With only a week...

I lose the five pounds by not eating the crap Mowgli buys at the grocery store...hello! soda! cookies! ice cream! creamy wafer things! Dole Pineapple Orange juice! It's like signing up for weight gain camp for adolescent boys.

Stay up all night tonight painting dresser and begin art room organization...aka, shoving crap into the closet.

Tomorrow work on homemade gifts.

Shop on Thursday night if I can get away from my publication or Saturday. Oh, that is going to be hell.

Friday I am volunteering all day at a domestic violence shelter on a interior design project. Do-gooder jealousness...I can smell it.

Friday night is all about the handmade gift wrap up.

Saturday shopping and wrapping to perfection.

Wrapping is my specialty, well I consider it my specialty. Like some people who thinks they make the best wings in the world and they clearly do not. You just have to let them believe that and move on...let me believe it.

Mowgli found the camera cord in my closet (classic) so now I can post pictures again.

Faithsalutes the miracle of  6 days. Sort of like creation, but not really.

--------------
Oh I forgot, I met my friend at Last Chance where she snags up Hobo bags like they are SWAG. I found a wallet for a special cousin who reads this blog and better love me or else. Sure the tiny zipper is broken, but it wasn't $85 hard earned dollars neitha'.

Mondays

My Monday has been fantastic thus far...I took my daily morning bath, put on a cute black dress with black opaque tights, used actual product in my hair to keep it looking somewhat stylish all day long, was able to find keys/wallet/phone all within a reasonable amount of time (less than 2 minutes), and even remembered the keys to my office...oh, and I even made a grocery list for Mowgli. He loves to grocery shop, but he also likes his women large, apparently. If he shops we have 9 varieties of ice cream, cookies, and processed food my body cannot help bu consume all night long. We are in a series of grocery negotiations. Less money and more quality.

I walked outside to jump in the Subaru...oddly the driver side doors were both ajar. I pried the driver's door open a little more and was met with a giant waff of cigarette smoke. Mowgli has wicked asthma and would never smoke in his car, he is also anal about clean cars. As I leaned in I noticed the face to the stereo missing...everything else was rifled through, but all was accounted for.

So the hood has caught up to us...our car was broken into. Mowgli is taking it in to get new alarm clicker things. The dog chewed it up and we didn't replace them because of our economic situation...but now we see how necessary it would have been and will be in the future.

Smoky cars without music...I can deal with, but smoky cars without music that I make a payment on...I am not dealing with.

I do not have one Christmas/Holiday party to attend to this year. I guess I am losing my guest appeal.

Faithsalutes the party I will have in our car, alone, playing Christmas music as loud as I can.

weekend update 987987.00

My friend "A" left this afternoon. She is off to Australia for nursing school for the next 3 years. I met her when I was 19. I never thought either us would be where we are today. Life is unpredictable, at best.

We stayed in Bisbee. We made friends with a man named Sunshine. He had a tattoo of a cross on his face and when asked what he does, he replied openly. He told us he collects a "crazy check." Apparently, per capita, Bisbee has more crazy check recipients than anywhere else.

I love crazy people, hence I love Bisbee.

It was cold, very cold.

I am going to buy some discarded paint and spruce up my art room, get it ready for a little bit of Christmas action.

Faithsalutes discarded crazies.

Letting off some helium

Black suburban in the middle of traffic, parked, with the back doors wide open. I called the cops and let them know which block and in which direction, the license plate number, and detailed descriptions.

I am love reporting crap like that. I get a supernatural citizen high from having something to report to the police.

The other kind of high I occasionally enjoy is helium. Who doesn't like hearing their own voice sound like a cartoon chipmunk? Or bringing joy to toddlers everywhere? Especially those kids in East Germany. I wonder if they get balloons these days, post commie birthday parties.

Like most of you, I have never imagined sucking down helium would have ever been cause for concern. Why be concerned? Helium brings life to birthday parties and car dealerships across the country, even around the world. It is bountiful, plenty, and a must have for many affairs. It makes 3 year olds feel like they have won the lottery.

Unfortunately, helium is not what you thought it was and guess who controls 35% of the helium in this country? The government. The cost of helium is rising, no pun intended, and I wanted you good citizens to be warned before you are thinking about your next hit or celebrate another birthday.

Like cocaine, helium is competing in a market doomed by inflation. Have you tried to score some cocaine recently? The cost is astronomical and the commodity rare especially when the government controls most of it, jerks. I am thinking about dealing helium in the black market to make ends meet. Anybody have a Party City hook up? I need to beef up my network.

No more balloons for you.

Faithsalutes free hot air.

Mad TV

I am so burnt out on television. My eyes are on fire. Suns game, America's Next Top Model finale (lamest ever) and Project Runway. I feel as though my life just flashed before my eyes. Fortunately my friend CJ was over to make it seem like I was investing in my friendship and not just wishing I was designing clothes or becoming the next Cover Girl. You know, important things like that.

This blog has been an amazing frivolous outlet, though I sometimes wonder if this is what people will believe that I am, a frivolous silly thing. Deep Thoughts by Faithsalutes.

---------

Gal is the politically correct term for women in the familiar tense. Like folks, friends, gentlemen, etc. Politicians use these words to appear approachable and real. I noticed an acquaintance using these terms during dinner the other night, ironically he had just returned from a trip to Washington DC. Go figure.

I can't trust people who use the word gal, but I think he was just under the influence. It will wear off in California where you can call grown women with children "chicks."

---------

I finished finals week this evening. It was quite the relief to submit my last paper. I feel like a burden has been lifted off of my shoulders, then I walked into my house. DISASTER.

Some things never change, a messy living environment and no clean clothes during finals week, no matter how old you are or how many husband you have at home.

---------

I held a five day old baby boy today. He felt like holding a tshirt right of the dryer, light in weight and smelling like fabric softner. I tried him on and then put him in my drawer, he just didn't fit. I am not that into having kids right now.

---------

My art room smells like urine and we cannot get rid of it. Any suggestions? I have tried everything.

Faithsalutes late nights with Faith.

Jiffy

Yesterday I ate 4 Jiffy cornbread muffins. This morning I ate 2. I plan on eating the other 2 the minute I get home from the office.

I am reading this book:

Integrity: the courage to meet the demands of reality. How Six Essential Qualities Determine Your Success in Business. by Dr. Henry Cloud.

The problem is I am not adhering to more than half of his principles, that is also why I am at a job that me no likey or very good at, really. I meet the minimum standards, but never seem to exceed expectations. I would like to be somewhere where I am able to exceed expectations. In other words, I am doing something I am not exceptionally good at to pay the bills.

Cross your fingers.

----------------------------

I have never made New Year's resolutions. This year I started thinking about them in November. I wonder if I could really pull them off. They are not unrealistic, just take discipline...which I don't have, which I am trying to conquer after I finish the entire batch of cornbread muffins.

I deleted emails...from over 5,000 to 3,386. My goal is to go through and archive the ones I need and delete the ones I don't very soon. Start with a fresh inbox in 2008.

----------------------------

This morning I saw a young Mexican couple making out...he was sitting, she was standing...at the bus stop. The problem was the very uncomfortable third party that was sitting at the edge of the same love bench waiting patiently for the bus. No shame to be found. I seriously need to ask a Mexican friend what is up with that. I see it at least once a week, a young Mexican couple making out or in the middle of extreme groping session in public. This is not an issue of culture, I think it is a generational issue. Fill me in my Good citizens. What is up?

----------------------------

My cousin was interviewed by a local rag recently, they rated him as one of the best tattoo artists. Well, he is one of the best. His comment was he had no comment. I want one of his tattoos, but I am afraid of the baby producing effect. A saggy tattoo? Gross. Thoughts? I really, really want one around my belly button. HHAHAHA.

NO.

One on my back.
----------------------------

Faithsalutes you and your tattoo dreams.

D List to Gift List

Last night we were over at my Mom's house for a bit. Mowgli and I have been helping my younger brother with his college applications, so we headed over there with Spanky Loo in tow, of course. Spanky Loo loves my mom's house. She completely flips out when we pull up into her cul de sac. And when we are leaving, she sits near the front door and we have to pick her up and carry her to the car. The problem is when she is there she always destroys something or drags an unwanted item into the house: frog, giant branches, detroyed item exhibit A, etc. It is ridiculous, but I know how much she loves it there. It is like taking your ADHD kid to Disneyland. Disastrous yet beautiful.

My other brother was over there last night dropping off some product photos he took for my mom's company. His photos turned out to be four gazillion times better than those taken by the 25k contracted photographer. I double checked, they really were that much better. He is thinking of photography school and I am encouraging him to make the plunge, the debt plunge. Raise your hand if you have school debt? (Did you feel the jet stream just rush by your face? Everyone has it.)

During the course of the evening, seats on an airplane became the topic of conversation. I personally get on the plane last and just sit wherever there is a seat and fall asleep before the plane takes off. My brother and Mowgli try to get on first to get the emergency aisle for the leg room and hot chicks. My mom gets stressed out if she does not have an assigned seat. I am sure you have gathered, we are talking about Southwest Airlines seating. As the conversation continued, we started to talk about who we have sat next to while flying. My brother non chalantly dropped that he sat next to Miss USA and was with her for 4 or 5 hours. What?!?! Oh, and he added, "the one with drug problems, Tara Connor." It gets juicier. He also said she knew she was trouble right away when he was giving her a ride to her hotel from the airport and Tara was on the phone with her fiance, "I am in the cab on the way to the hotel." Or also known as hanging out with my extremely handsome brother. Little did Tara know that that sort of thing will ruin a relationship with my brother. You will be forever tarnished and banish-ed. I felt like I was a reporter for Perez.

JUICY. Tara Conner can't fool anyone related to me, that is for sure. I love D list celebrities and their antics.

I keep putting editing my fifth grade political blunder on the back burner. I really need to release it. Maybe this evening I will work on it.

My friend "A" is coming into town tomorrow night. She is one of my favorite people on earth. She is funny and beautiful and can surf and has traveled all over the world and loves with every bit of her soul and she likes good music and understands what believing really means and drinks soy milk, but is recently eating chicken so that helps. I cannot wait for her to come here and make me happy. She is my early Christmas present.

My "Tara Connor Can't Fool Me" brother drew my name for Christmas. So, "A" won't be wrapped, but his gift will be. I sent over a holiday gift guide for him. This might seem to be "outside the spirit of giving", but when you are only getting one gift with a cap on cost I feel as though it is not that big of a deal to throw together a list of frivilous wants. I included on my list: a hat from a vintage store that looks exactly like the new Marc Jacobs resort line. EXACTLY and at about 1/25 the cost. A cover for my iPOD. A poster that is sort of played out in the interior design community online, but me likes: For Like Ever., a mesh tank top from American Apparel, a fake plastic gold watch, a giant yellow tote on clearance on Target online, and a jump rope. I love jumping rope. The sixth grade jump-a-thon was glorious. Basically, I asked for things that I will use and yet I don't feel like I can spend the money on...but someone else can and know in good conscious it would make me tingly joy joy.

Faithsalutes extensions on papers without asking. "When is that due?" "For like when ever."

babies unite in santa barbara

I am sitting in paperpony's living room. You should see her, she looks like a pregnant movie star. You should see her house, it looks like a pregnant movie star's house.

There was a party yesterday, I am sure paperpony will post all about it. I will wait, then give my version...but just to give a sneak peek...it was fantastic.

We made the quick trip up the Pacific Highway to stroll around in Santa Barbara to run some errands. I want to make this very very clear: Santa Barbara is paradise. Santa Barbara is my favorite place in America. Santa Barbara is where I will live if Mowgli ever wins the lottery (I have never bought a lottery ticket). Santa Barbara is where dreams come true (in my head.)

I am running out to meet one my favorite people Jim for brunch in Santa Barbara. Jim and I worked on a campaign together and have remained close ever since. I am on a wife hunt for him. If anyone is interested in a good looking blonde preppy guy who is wicked smart and has good taste in music (he can also play the guitar and other instruments), graduate from University of Virginia, and works for a very successful nonprofit...let me know. He is more deep than that, but this is a blog...so I am keeping it short.

Email me your stats and figures...not physical, I should clarify...who you are. He doesn't know I am doing this and might get upset, but oh well. He is awesome and will forgive me.

Sincerely,

Faithsalutes.

3:22 PM

It is 3:22 PM. I am wrapping up page 14. I need 2-3 more in the next hour in a half.

I suck.

Faithsalutes the rush.

Cussers remorse

I am having blogging cuss remorse, because I know some woman I truly respect read this blog and I would hate to disappoint them.

Then again, I am sure they already knew.

Faithsalutes a clean mouth around children.

I have good ideas (caution I use the "f" word, no really I do)

First of all, I know this will not come as a complete shock to most of you who know me personally, but I would really like to start cussing on the blog every once in awhile. Sometimes I would have liked to start a blog like this (close your eyes.): I had a fucking brilliant idea tonight, after I ate some cookie dough I turned on the TV to see the remaining 25 minutes of the Victoria Secret show on CBS. Brilliant. And now I feel like the ugliest, largest wench face alive. Except when Posh Spice messed up a few times, I felt good about myself for about 2 seconds. Because I let the Spice Girls dictate how I feel about myself. Then I had another fucking brilliant idea. There is no food in the house. Literally almost nothing, like starving people in the Ozarks style. Like some Jiffy corn bread mix, but nothing to mix it with (eggs/milk) and some a can of tomato something and three pimento olives left in a jar in the fridge. I had three slices of bread, two of which were the end slices. I had a tiny bit of shredded cheese and some old spaghetti sauce. I made myself some pizza. It was better than the food I had at a more pricey local restaurant lately. Toast the bread, smack some spaghetti sauce on there and some cheese, throw it in the microwave. Pinch some goodness from the spice rack over the top. A poh man's pizza. Fo' real.

I have this dual life...my use the correct fork life and my dont wash my hands life. I guess I have a complete appreciation for all that is both ghetto and vogue, simultaneously. I embrace both as my own. I should give how to be fabulously poor lessons. I should charge people, well I guess I would have to give them for free or trade.

I am wearing tights with jeans over them. My fear of being cold is more intense than my fear of heat or profusely sweating in public, so I layered up this morning. It is in the low 70's here in Phoenix. I know for most people that means vacation and drinks with little umbrellas on the beach, but for me it means my house will be 68 degrees and I will be shivering. I had BO today, but I was warm. That is what counts, warmth. No one can smell the BO, because they are focused on my pink bangs instead. Lesson: Shock value eliminates the presence of body odor.

(Sidenote: JLo still dances like she is one of the fly girls on In Living Color. Hip hop circa 93. It is cool when you are dressed in a fly girl and surrounded by big bootied black girls, not so cool in 2007 in her hipster wear and skinny white girl dancers.)

I fucking cannot stand the woman on Design on a Dime on HGTV. I hate her voice, I hate everything she points out as her favorite item, I hate how she ruins peoples homes in 24 hours, I hate the words she uses to describe the transformed room. Her name is Joan Stefan. I want to punch her in the throat. I am sure she brings great brownies to meetings, but I wouldn't want her there. She can have her brownies and her poor decorating taste. Oh, and her clothes are awful and her hair needs a reality check.

I wrote a final paper in an hour or so today. I hope I a got an A. I deserve it. Anyone who can produce that type of quality in that short amount of time deserves an A, for real.

B boys and Fly girls, Faithsalutes.

Goodnight Phoenix!

faith and the rockers

In honor of my new baby pink bangs...and the new Faith I had to pick up a new jam or two.

Por ejemplo: Talib Kweli Hot Thing featuring Will.i.am.

With lines like:

Yo, I love your country ass I love your city sass

I love to play connect the dots with your facial freckles
No need for fashion policin' because I love your style

And a few jams by Mark Ronson who be collaboratin' with homies like Amy Winehouse.

Getting it on. I have 5 hours to write 2 papers and finish 200 pages of a book. Watch out.

Pink bangs unite.

Faithsalutes Jem and the Rockers.

Denied.

I started working on my 5th grade story yesterday, I need to wrap it up. But while heavily procrastinating, I ran across a picture I thought was so classic!

This is a photo of my niece, last year on Christmas Eve. She is not having any of it. That night, It might have gone a little something like this her little noggin....
1. Why the hell did my Aunt Faith dye her hair black? She looks like a complete freak.
2. Why is my Aunt Faith wearing tights with flowers on them? Where did she get those, Limited Too?
3. Aunt Faith forgot to brush her teeth again, that skanky....grrr. I wonder when she showered last.
4. Why does Aunt Faith have so much fur on her neck? I can barely stand to look it.
5. I asked for a Hello Kitty necklace, take this Bvlgari away from me before I throw a fit. And return this Hermes scarf while you are at it. I only do vintage Hermes.
6. A little black box? What about the little robin egg blue box I was hoping for?
7. Can we take this back?
8. "I know what you mean, I would not be caught dead in this...take it back."

or something like that...she is very opinionated, can you tell?

I hope she will approve this year. I will do my best.

Faithsalutes baby Raya.

Things I thought today

Why did Al Gore get a Nobel Peace Prize for passing along some information?

Why do I crave tacos from Taco Bell almost every single day?

Why do my dog and husband snore in my ear when I am trying to watch Lock Down?

Why is Lock Down or Lock Up on MSNBC so addicting to watch? Prison is good television? Yes, the answer is yes.

Why did my sister in law look so upset when I told her I was putting light pink highlites in my bangs on Monday? Cause I is.

Why do people stick giant Nike swooshes on their mini van or truck rear windows? Are they sponsored by Nike? Why would people sponsored by Nike live in my neighborhood?

Why are mojitos so scrumptious? Why was I willing to spend $14 for one at Asia de Cuba at the Mondrian? Beautiful place, not so attractive men with pretty ladies. The ratio astounding.

Why is it that 1 in 6 pre teens have tried Meth in Arizona?

Why can't I get to Ikea to return this dang rug? How hard is it to return items for money, cold hard cash?

Why are black tights look so good, with everything?

Why did the US mess with the Ethiopian and Eritrean border after the initial international settlement in 2000?

-----------

Today we submitted my brother's application to UCLA. Mowgli and I discussed the fact that UCLA profits approximately 3 million dollars from applications. We did the math ourselves. That is incredible, but if you have seen the grounds, I guess that is how much it costs for maintenance. 3 millions dollars would take care of my grounds, that is for sure. Submit yourselves to me...oh that sounds anti-Christ, I assure you its not.

-----------

What do Good Citizens think about ads on a blog? Let the Faith know.

Faithsalutes finals week. Bring it on.

PS I just heard someone use the word "trialsome". HAHHAHAAHH.  I love when that happens.