Faith Salutes

Putting more stuff on my face

I am not a faithful product user by any means, but I thought I would pass along some products that I have purchased in the last couple of months that have made my life mo' better and I will replace when they are used up.

Most items I used were either recommended by Helen or given to me by Helen. She should write reviews for products, because she tries them all. She always look fresh and almost dewy as if she just left the sacred forest of the nymphs where she just received three days of rejuvenation treatment. I always look like I had to work hard for the money the night before, serving waffles at IHOP to drunk teenagers.

Anyway, I figure you copy what works. Here are a few items that I now love and use daily:
Radiance Boost Eye Cream from Neutrogena. This stuff is like magic. It not only gets rid of the last little bit of eye makeup my other remover does not remove, it assists in the dark circles under the eyes department.
Nars Bronzer in Laguna. I am totally a drugstore make up kind of girl, until I get a gift certificate...then I am too snobby to even admit that I dare purchase my makeup anywhere else other than Nordstrom's. This stuff makes me look like I have cheekbones. Like my fabulous gay friend said this weekend: "That is her real nose and cheekbones." Thank you Brooke, now spread the news to the rest of West Hollywood.

Stila sport Color Push Ups blush in Blush Flash. It looks like a mini deodorant and it rolls on like a Botticelli painting. 

When Spanky Loo gets married

Spanky is finally falling in love with me. She loves everyone else and now she is finally loving me like she should for all the feeding sessions I take care of at 7 AM. I am not really awake when I feed her, but somehow I find her bowl (never in the same place in the morning, not ever) and give her a scoop of Iams.

Its funny whenever I sit down to blog at home she runs over and sticks her face on the keyboard, its like she knows I am about to talk about her. Its "cute".

I am sort of regretting the removal of the parts that allow her to has pupppppies. I want 9 Spankys.

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Last night we were at a wedding of a very dear friend. The bride and Maid of Honor completely forgot about the ring. During the ceremony the Maid of Honor gave the look of death when the bride turned around to get the ring from her. I jumped up out of my seat and ran down the center aisle away from the pool house towards her parents place to grab the ring...a few minutes later...they had exchanged rings and vows. I was happy to rescue, because SHE COORDINATED MY ENTIRE WEDDING.  I owe her a child still.

Then the women's bathroom was rendered tainted...Mowgli tried out some plumbing techniques. He also was the DJ, usher, and object of affection for several of the dancing wedding goers. Weddings are really his bag now that I think about it...

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UCLA IS IN THE FINAL FOUR.

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Happy Birthday Dtupac. You know I love you so much.

Faithsalutes the Easter candy she never got a hold but have been dreaming about.

What are you even talking about?

My dearest friend well, her most beloved love of her life passed away recently, very recently. They were not married or together at the time, but he passed away and left her behind none the less. He fell, literally. He fell from way up high. He will be missed. He was loved dearly, we danced once and it was one of my most fun times. I have no idea what it would do to me to lose a former lover, friend, or even husband as some I know have experienced. I have been to several funerals, but none of those people were especially close to me. It was one or two degrees of separation and somehow that has saved me from that painful unexplainable heart ache when you lose someone you loved deeply, truly. I have seen people die and I have been in a room when someone has passed away...I don't recommend it necessarily, but I do see now how it has sort of prepared me for what death looks like. The wailing, the "Why God Why", that crucial moment when your body collapses from sorrow...Its prepared me in the sense that I will be ready to physically lose control. I am not prepared for death other than the expecting to fall down flat on my face and the need for hugs. I can hug. If someone you love dies, I can hug you...I have pillow shaped breasts that help with that sort of thing...that is pretty much all they are good for: death and babies. I am sorry people die, but I am not sorry that you have me to hug. (Ha.)

UCLA won last night. Need I say more? No, no I don't...because we RULE! We rule! We rule! We rule! Which translates into a winning sticker on my window of Subaru and not feeling like a loser all week while driving. I let stickers on cars affect me and my confidence level. But its hard to feel bad about yourself when you RULE SO HARD and it is obvious by your window decal.

Reporter: According to reports, you have problems paying attention at this stage in your life and are really disappointed with your Masters program. So we would like to know how you are handling the situation. How are you spending your time Faithsalutes?
Me: I am in class for 8 hours today and 8 hours tomorrow.
Reporter: How do you feel about 8 hours of class today?
Me: ...(silent as I jump out of window.)

Coming to class was somewhat worth it because the professor is in with the Girl Scouts and came armed with cookies. Then I ate one cookie and felt sick. HOW CAN YOU FEEL SICK AFTER ONE COOKIE? I also have noticed how long it is taking people to eat one or two cookies...sometimes life deals you lemons and lemonade makes you ill.

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I am so excited about paying of debt at this stage in my life that I actually get more excited about that than I did about teams winning, friends getting pregnant, and Spanky behaving herself. Faithsalute challenge: start paying down some of the burden.

xxoxo

Faithsalutes the 8 hour burden of class with people who can't eat cookies...trying not to punch them in the face and let them deal with that lemon.

Chaos is soothing

1. Outline of entire 130 page publication due today/tomorrow. Did I just catch 9 more copy editing mistakes this morning? Sheeeeet.

2. 6 papers due tomorrow for Executive Leadership. Executive Leadership=How much crap you can get down in one day.

3. UCLA Plays today in Sweet 16 (NCAA Men's Basketball Tournament, Google how good we are). Go Bruins.

4. New Tenant moves into Guest House which I was cleaning one more time at around 7:40 this morning and Mowgli was having allergy attack doing the yard.

5. Rehearsal Dinner for S wedding and Wedding this weekend.

6. Oh, did I mention I have class for 8 hours tomorrow and Saturday?

7. Did I also mention I love the thrill?

I am sick and wrong.

Go Bruins.

And one car is not working properly!

Go Bruins.

Befo' da axion

Before I can respond to the comments posted concerning my last entry, I need to process...but my immediate response is this: HOLY CRAP! I AM SO FORTUNATE TO  BE HASIN' YOU HOMIES!

Yesterday I threw up for the first time in years, that I can remember. It may have been last year, but I am not really sure. I did not remember that it burns your nostrils so intensely. That is what we should be doing to terrorists and rapists...nostril burning with stomach acid. I was so put off by the nose burning that I have decided to not be anorexic. (Insert Clapping and victorious high fives.) I had this 24 hour flu bug. I felt like I had been on a swing for 13 hours and forced to walk in the blazing sun on the side of a freeway for 25 miles. Then I woke up this morning like I had just been back from a resort vacation and was ready to take on the day...this may have been partly due to the fact that a friend who stayed at the house last night did my dishes. If you even knew what a gift this was to me. I hate doing dishes at my own house. HATE THEM. I rather scrub toilets all the live long day.

I went to Ikea this morning to get some little pieces for the guest house which will be officially occupied by tomorrow afternoon. I decided that the best post flu food is a giant helping of Swedish meatballs in the morning. (I know, I am an idiot.) Once upon a time, the dish did include those cute little red or tan potatoes. This morning, it included a giant tan one which made me angry. I made this known to the Asian food services dude. He let me know right back that he was also not happy about the switch. I am about to write my first complaint letter to a corporation. I will post a copy here. I want those little potatoes back and I want them NOW.

I am off to tutor someone about using the words "effect" and "affect" appropriately.  Or something to that effect or affect or  ?

Faithsalutes a messy house and the opportunity to clean it next week.

When you are up to your neck...

In to do lists.

I guess it is the easiest way to be distracted from the worst of afflictions, except for maybe AIDs or gout, which is most commonly known as depression.

Depression is something we hear a lot about and in many cases, as citizens of the Western world, we use the term lightly. Because hell, we are not on the prairie anymore and there are too many demands, pressures, and callings that cannot all be met. Unfortunately, depression should not be taken lightly nor does it always have something to do with succeeding in the rat race. Feeling depressed because you lost a loved one or have a broken heart is something most of us can relate to or even the feeling that you are not doing enough, but feeling eternally sad for no apparent reason is harder to come to terms with as an outsider or even insider.

Why the eff are you so sad? Don't you love Jesus? Don't you have eternal, unexplainable joy because of it? Don't you have a house and a dog and a husband who loves you? Don't you have cars that run and too many friends to count? Then why so sad? You selfish little wench. 

I am my own genius when it comes to rationalizing for myself, so let's start there:
1. I am alone most of the time. I spend all my hours in a office alone at home alone or walking my dog alone, etc.
2. Marriage is hard. Its worth it, but still hard fucking work.
3. I am bored out of my mind.
4. I have a less of a social life here (Unless someone is coming on the weekend to visit!)
5. All my friends are in law school, having babies, or changing the world while I sit around and pick my nose alone in my office.
6. I am always behind at work and feel like the hole is getting deeper and deeper.
7. My life did a complete 180 last year when we decided to move and I am still adjusting.

So there, there it is...surface, sure, but there it is.

Here are all the reasons I should stop being sad and get over myself:

Husband who loves me, nice place to live, dog that needs me, cars that run, food on the table, healthy family, I now live closer to my family whom I love, We are getting closer and closer to getting out of debt, I am closer to my beloved friends J and A now that I am back in Phoenix after a 7-8 year hiatus, my friend S is getting married and I am thrilled for her, Paperpony had a healthy baby, I have my health sans my eyesight, my graduate degree is being payed for, I have an amazing "boss", my friend is headed off to participate the Olympics in Beijing, My other friend is safe and sound back from Iraq, I might just might be getting a call back for the job of my dreams, the weather is perfect in Arizona for another month, I have a bike to ride, etc, etc.

Unfortunately, this is not how "depression" is healed. Lists of blessings only seem overwhelming and make one feel worse for being sad in the first place. Then guilt hits...go GUILT! Because nothing solves problems like guilt does. It is like the wonder drug...(note to self: sarcasm also does not help the cause.)

I would not be too worried as I am in counseling for my marriage and I am so blessed to be surrounded people who understand depression and/or love me despite of it...

This last year has been a continuous battle to stay one step ahead of non functioning land. I believe my expectations were high, I did not meet them or come anywhere close and I have not been able to forgive myself since. Letting yourself down is the worst feeling in the world, like daggers to your heart and your eyeballs being doused in lemonade. Then came all of those outside forces like finances, job restrictions, failure to communicate, and bam...its been a whole year of indescribable sadness. I do understand that focusing on yourself so intently is extremely harmful to yourself, fancy that.

Some of this is genetic, some circumstantial, some was my choice to handle it myself with self medication. Self medicating involves staying extremely busy, trying to laugh, hot baths to calm the anxiety, reading again, etc.

So far this is not working. I am hoping for the sake of my marriage and for the sake of my wanting to be available to love and serve others that this feeling of burden and sadness is lifted through the spiritual and other means.

I am sharing because I think it is vital and healthy for Good Citizens to either try to understand depression, recognize it when they have it, and/or take action to deal with it...it literally destroys lives. Depression is not just a symptom of major upsets in life, it can be triggered by many circumstances and can afflict all types of souls. 

For example:

I thought I was having a quarter life crisis and tried to solve it with what I considered a million and one good ideas...starting a business, going back to school, etc, but what I am realizing is making more plans is not the answer for me when I am carrying around guilt and sadness everywhere I go (though it might be for others, most definitely, and I do like to be on the move in any state of mind.)

I am still figuring out how I can beat this desire I have every morning to never get up again. I will let you know how it goes. I am working on it...

But I do know one thing, I need to work on forgiving myself before I get to be successful at whatever it is God and I have planned out...yes, we work on things together. We have some plans that will blow your mind, we have been working on them for years, therein lies my hope.

OUT OF AFRICA part mbili or maybe a LOTTO winner or maybe a landscaped YARD!

Faithsalutes the force and the reckoning: Pilgrim's Progress.

I love all you readers...bright spot in my day are your blogs.

Google depression for some great references. Its that easy.

Because I have no shame...

I need to get my hustle on...I started tutoring last week on top of my other "duties", but I am still in need of some cash flow dollars.

I have some books for sale on Amazon and I know you all want some hot hot books. Some of them are doubles or ones I have read already...with our allergies around here, we cannot keep a large amount of books on hand because of the dust they collect. We need allergy medicine!

Making Home: Housekeeping in Real Life
A Farewell to Arms
Vice and Virtue in Everyday Life
The First Man
Adam's Curse
Wild at Heart
Reading Lolita in Tehran
The Complete Book of Small Business Plan

See how shameless this is?
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I would like to formerly thank Chuck who has so graciously offered to make a new blog banner. If it sucks, you can blame him. He has a mohawk and he is improving his bowling game. He has a porsche and he is cool and Mowgli and I have recruited him for some trivia night.

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I read Anne of Green Gables this weekend. I was reminded of how much I love Anne Shirley. I recommend a flashback quick read of this femi-9 classic.

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I saw Halle Barry in a Revlon lipstick commercial immediately followed by a Covergirl mineral make up commercial. She is the most boring make up commercial spokeswoman. I rather watch the Subway Jared commercials. Drew Barrymore is more fun to watch on Covergirl mascara commercials.

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Faithsalutes the most busiest-est week ahead...

On the Job: tricks of the trade

I love that show Beauty and the Geeks. I watch it at work on my computer while I do other tasks...is it the most productive and optimal? Of course not, but I am trying to stay awake at my desk. I used to lay down under my desk and take naps, now I watch television online and stay on task. Its so juicy and I like to crush on the geeks and judge the beauties once a week. Isn't that the point. All the while editing a manuscript on social capital and community...

I also watch other lame shows on the CW network. This helps someone like me with the attention span of a 9 year old male during an American Girl play.

So if you are having problems staying awake on the job, may I suggest catching up on some episodes of television you won't admit to people you watch.

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It's my mom's birthday.

Happy Birthday MARMELLA.

I call my mom "Marmella" because 1. it is funny and 2. when I read Little Women my mom told me to never call her "Marmi" as the sisters do in the book. She was obviously joking around, but I took it really seriously. As I grew older, I realized my mom was just trying to mess with my head so I started referring to her as Marmella...a spin off on the classic.

I am also going to mess with my children's heads, because I see now the benefit of having a good time while parenting.

Faithsalutes Marmella and all the traits we inherited thus...thank you for being born-ed.

OTHER SHOWS: 30 Rock, America's Next Top Model, Gossip Girl, etc

On being white

The Houston Chronicle posted a story on their front page about the ever so popular site "Stuff White People Like." Not surprisingly they take the race factor angle. Let's mention the self deprecating humor factor...a 10 in my book.

My favorite one is the "Threatening to Move to Canada" post. My family and I have actually used that line and guess what! We are white people.

I did try to mix it up by marrying a brown man, but since is being white such a crime? Its been a crime since the beginning of time. And the crime committed by brownish people, they act white too! Eh-hem, I mean we act American around these parts, because that is what we are...

I'm a poet and didn't even know it.

I was called a racist in college for being politically conservative. I was also called a immigrant beater. Good thing I was called out on that one, I loved beating immigrants, immigrants like my grandfather and my in-laws. There was no one escaping my States rights wrath. But after getting caught in the act, I stopped. Now that I have become more obsolete among the white faced masses, I secretly wait to strike again, "Stop with the taxes and regulations!"

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I have had body odor/under arm nasty issues for 3 days. I have showered all 3 of these days, shocker...I know, and I still smell like the back alley of the Garfield district. I have changed deodorants, yet I cannot help but assume that it is the fabric in the new shirts I have been wearing. I wore a shirt given to me by mother because she no likey it. I wore a shirt that I bought for 10 bones in San Diego and another work shirt I bought with my birthday card money from my all time famous Oma and Opa*...

Fabric makes you stinky, right? Well, if I cannot wear any of my new shirts then I will have to shave Spanky and wear her coat around. She really smells like Downy dryer sheets these days. And that fawn color would look fantastic with my skin tone.

If you want to keep me from shaving my dog and wearing her hair, you can send money orders and/or cashiers checks to my little house that has not had any improvements as of late that could.

Faithsalutes freshly red painted toes, because nothing says your toes look like midget fingers like fresh red paint. I think I need to stick to neutral tones on the "as long as cheetohs" toes.

*Oma and Opa are Dutch-Indonesian...mostly Indonesian. They also act American, because now they are in America. When in Rome...drive a Fiat.

madonna song revealed in hair commercial

Justin Timberlake makes the song. Are we surprised?

Madonna, she is fascinating to me, really...for someone who can't sing, she really has made a name for herself.

Had my bangs trimmed today and it is like a life altering experience to have a bang trim...as in, now I can see. Since when did showing your muffin top becoming cool? Fill me in, my bangs have been in my face.

Anyway, Diamond Hello Kitty necklaces is where it is at. I hoping for one someday, after I save up for a Tweetie Bird tat.

Faithsalutes r o double u d i e thats the way we spell rowdie.

Your "hose" for rent

A conversation about the guest house for rent.

To: Faithsalutes
From: hotsavannah1974
Subject: Your hose for rent
Im intersted in your guest home for rent. i am in need of a new living situation for my 4 year old son and me.
I work at "Strip Club close by" on "Street in Phoenix" (mostly nights) and my son usually is watched by his dad at that time so the location would work good for me.
Will you be doing a credit check?
Can I come by and fill out an application? I could move in asap if everything were to work out, my co-workers could help me move in and would not be a problem.

Thanks.

S.

To: hotsavannah1974
From: Faithsalutes

Subject: Re: Your hose for Rent

Savannah,

I am sorry we already have a tenant who will be renting the guest house. If for some reason it falls through, we will get a hold of you. Also, there are a couple of places for rent in the neighborhood...but unfortunately you will have to drive around to find them in this area.

Good luck sweetie.

Faithsalutes

(Note: Why did I say sweetie?)

From:  hotsavannah1974
To: Faithsalutes

Fait, (not Faith, but Fait)

Thank for the email, if your other people do not rent i would like hear.  I need to be out of my curent place by friday...long story.
If you email me in the am is best.  I'm not near a computer at nite.  my job don't allow  much free time.  anyhoo i don't know if the sweetie comment was a joke at me, but sister i hear it enough at work along with other sayings.  you don't know me, i dont know you i'm just looking for a place for me and my son. i'm a good person.

hope to hear from ya.
S.

To: hotsavannah1974
From: Faithsalutes

(In my head: Uhhh, I have to reply to this...or do I?)

I hope you find another place too...We have someone moving in already. I said "sweetie" in the most loving and endearing sense. I can tell you just want to provide for your son and have a nice place to live...

Good luck,

Faithsalutes

Notes:
1. Not good idea to disclose you are stripper at a low class joint in first correspondence with potential landlord.
2. I am glad the baby has a daddy to watch him. Seriously.
3. 1974? Time to find a new profession lady over 30.
4. Who said I have a "ho" to rent? Aren't you the ho for rent? Haaha.
5. Poor kid.
6. How tempted was I to ask what the long story was...Maury Povich style.
7. She is right, I do not know her...but now I am running a credit check.
8. Sweetie? What was I thinking?

Faithsalutes hoses for rent.

Lords of Land: Not green land

Because our guest house is now vacant, we are now on the hunt for new tenants. I have never hunted for tenants before, but the process and prospects are intriguing thus far...

A graduate student with a 30 pound dog vs. a mother of adult children who works as a nurse up the street?

I am not too worried about the leasing aspect considering this next year I will have more friends that are lawyers than regular non lawyer friends.

Regular folk need lawyers.

I will have my choice of Jew, recovering Jew, Persian Jew, Persian Muslim, Christian, Caucasian, Vietnamese,  recovering alcoholics, etc, etc. I like to ethnically stack and/or diversify my lawyer options.

White blonde people get hated on more than you think...

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My friend sent me a photo from this blog: FAIL and there are few that made me make audible noise in my office, alone, by myself.

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Anyone want to update my banner blog? I will trade services and or books, etc. Let me know.

xoxoxo

Faithsalutes spending St. Patrick's Day with a red head.

While you were out

Agness Dyes wore a dress that I picked out in my birthday shopping guide. Now who is ahead of the curve?

I went to a purple party and was the only one wearing purple. I commit to costume parties, COMMIT.

I got a sensi-peel that did not do anything for the discolored visage. Give me my grocery money back so I can eat my way to a pasty white meets rogue freckles and dirt.

Brett Favre retired and I cried during his retirement speech, but not because he was my favorite.

My dog had an incident with her ear that left a blood trail thicker than a Jersey mob riverside.

I tried not to die when my neighbors moved out of our guest house because I love them so much.  Expose coming soon. 

I collected $2.27 in change on my night stand.

I saw a dwarf on the beach and I felt bad for watching her struggle in the sand. She had a cute haircut. No really, she had great hair.

My team lost at trivia night at a spot in downtown San Diego called Bondi's. Most hardest trivia night ever. I had that same anxiety that I had in Mrs. Rosetti's 3rd grade class during popcorn multiplication table games. I still do not know my "times tables". It was a stressful time in my life. Aaron and Tyler always kicked my ass at popcorn math games. I hope they have great jobs taking inventory and multiplying how much cooler I am then they are...

I discovered effing Yogurtland in Southern California. Well the discovery was a gift.

My back burned up.

I did not do one thing I in my head planned on doing while I was on hiatus. Not one damn thing.

I am wearing my bangs like Heidi Klum. Duh, we were both born in Germany.

I danced like it was the last dance as a Make a Wish Foundation participant one night. I need more dancing, need more dancing. It is truly healing for me. It is like taking a giant dose of happy and cramming down my throat and then I realize it tastes like Strawberry flavored cotton candy and my mouth feels so good.

Oprah's Big Give is already boring me a bit.

My two year old niece guessed the movie I was talking about was National Velvet. It wasn't, but the story line was identical according to my explanation, I left out the part that it was a cartoon I was trying to remember. I choose my two year old niece over half the people I have been forced to play Catch Phrase with who suck. Practice at home if you must. I also remembered the time I met Mickey Rooney and he was a major let down, not so much in stature but his attitude. I also met Ricky Schroeder that night. He is nice. He was cute on Silver Spoons.

I was at the UCLA game with the Shipp Shot that saved the game. Youtube it and you tell me if that was not perfect timing for me to go to the bathroom and be closer to the shot. Watch out Final Four, we are comin' for you.
(Insert husband checks out for rest of the month.)

Though more deep-ness was occurring, that is some of what was going on. I don't remember all of it right now because I am sitting in the bath tub and I am thinking more about upping the boiling hot water ratio.
Hot water seems more important to me now.

Signing in for duty Monday morning.

Faithsalutes when she feels like it.

Can some idiots please play Scrabulous with me? I hate having "smart" friends and friends who cheat to play. I need to win or I am throwing in the towel and sticking with Sorry or maybe even Trouble with my Film expert niece and bloody Spanky.